Here’s a look into why and what you can do about it.

We are born into the world to connect, for survival. We are social creatures. However, with COVID-19, we are told that we must practice social distancing, and as a result, many people are experiencing the “Lockdown Blues.” We have locked ourselves in our homes, we have closed our businesses, and we don’t go out. We don’t know what the future holds. There are no real answers. People are afraid and anxious. At a time when we need to connect, have physical contact, and comfort each other more than ever, we cannot because of social distancing. In the past, when someone to whom you are close is going through a difficult time, you can give them a hug to show your support and to make them feel better. Human connection helps us get through tough times.  

When we hug someone, oxytocin, referred to as the bonding hormone, is released into our bodies by our pituitary gland. Oxytocin lowers our cortisol levels, the hormone related to stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Stress weakens the immune system. Hugs are a natural stress reliever. In addition to releasing oxytocin, hugs activate the brain to release dopamine, the pleasure hormone. Hugs decrease stress and increase pleasure and human bonding. Hugs, therefore, are good for us both mentally and physically. We are currently isolated, and without social connections, we can feel lonely. We have pulled our heads into our homes like a turtle. 

While currently, we must isolate, we don’t have to be lonely. Isolation is the physical state of being separated. Loneliness is a perceived feeling and a risk factor for depression, substance abuse, and suicide. Loneliness is toxic to our health. Though physical contact is not possible at this moment, emotional contact is. Technology has allowed us to stay connected through much more than just phones. Connecting through various platforms such as social media, Zoom, FaceTime, and Teams, while they don’t allow us to connect physically, they do allow us to connect emotionally. Just hearing someone’s voice or seeing his or her face can lift your spirits. Connecting remotely is much better than not connecting at all. People have been holding virtual wine parties, movie nights, and concerts to stay connected and to avoid the lockdown blues.

Now is the perfect time to do all the things you never had time for before—clean out that closet, rearrange the pantry, paint, learn a new language, take up a new hobby, put together a puzzle, make some crafts, read a book, watch some movies, learn how to play an instrument. You will be so busy that you won’t have time to be lonely.

And while the pandemic may be keeping us physically apart now, in many ways, it has us coming together to support and encourage one another. We are all in this together, and we can get through this. Many people have come together to donate their time making masks, donating food, and singing and cheering health care workers. And while many of us lack physical connections in the form of hugs, we can still ward off loneliness using remote means, thus making the day when we will be able to receive a hug that much more special.

Building resilience during a time of grief.

Life can be stressful and challenging at the best of times. The coronavirus has turned our lives upside down — and it’s okay to grieve. Traditionally, grief is associated with the loss of a loved one. We know that loss is a part of life; loss is inevitable. Never before, though, have we experienced loss as a result of a pandemic.

We have lost many things: the ability to see friends and loved ones, to engage in most forms of social connection — and our sense of security. We are missing out on graduations, concerts, weddings, vacations, working days, our daily routines, and all of the things that we had planned. Many people are grieving; you are not alone. Our lives have changed dramatically in ways that we could never have imagined. We are living in a time of uncertainty.   

The notion of grief describes the set of feelings or emotional responses with which we associate loss. Grieving is, thus, the process of trying to come to terms with a loss. Grief is a natural response to loss; the process of doing so, though, is different for everyone. Grieving and trying to heal from loss are not linear processes. Just like attempts to recover from physical injuries or illnesses, efforts to recover from loss can often feel like “two steps forward and one step back.”

Our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Grieving, though, is a painful experience. It is about finding a way to deal with loss. Grieving is part of being human. We suffer when we cannot accept things as they are; the grieving process ends when you accept what has happened.

The brain searches for answers as to why and how something has happened in order to help us to understand and process the event. Your brain is driven to make sense of things, to find an explanation. Sadly, some things do not make sense, and an explanation may never be found. Typical reactions to sudden loss are disbelief, numbness, and shock.

You may have difficulty concentrating, your memory may be impaired, and you may have trouble sleeping and eating. Other feelings that are associated with loss and grief are disbelief and depression. Disbelief is characterized by difficulty in accepting the reality of a loss. Depression is being sad or depressed about a loss. Symptoms of depression include a loss of interest in things that you usually enjoy doing, a lack of motivation, and a loss of energy.

Resilience is defined as one’s ability to recover and to adapt to life’s challenging, stressful situations, and traumatic events. Resilience gives you emotional strength; it’s the ability to bounce back. Individuals who lack resilience often feel helpless and turn to maladaptive coping skills such as self-medicating and substance abuse. Becoming more resilient empowers you to adapt, and to accept difficult situations and to move forward. It allows you to navigate life more easily in difficult times. It involves the implementation of positive thoughts, behaviors, and actions, letting go of that which you can’t control.

We can’t control what is happening right now, but we can control our reactions to it. While we must maintain social distancing, that doesn’t mean that we have to live in total isolation. Connect virtually with friends and family: people who are going to be understanding, compassionate, and caring, and who will remind you that you are not alone.

Becoming resilient involves practicing a positive lifestyle: getting adequate sleep, making an effort to have a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. Set some realistic goals and work towards them daily. Accept the fact that change is a part of life and that there are some things that you cannot change. Be grateful and focus on what you have — not on what you don’t have. Focus on what you can do – not on what you can’t. Maintain a positive, optimistic outlook.  

We are all in this together, and we will get through it. If you were in physical pain, you would reach out to a medical professional. If you are in emotional pain, and you need help in building your resilience, reach out to a mental health professional. If you are — or someone you know is — having suicidal thoughts, please contact a family member, friend, a mental health professional, or contact the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Long-term stress can be very harmful to your mind and body.

We are born into the world to connect, for survival. We are social creatures. However, with COVID-19, we are told that we must practice social distancing, and as a result, many people are experiencing stress and a loss of safety.

Fear of the unknown can increase your stress and anxiety. However, prolonged stress can compromise the immune system and your body’s ability to fight infection, making you more susceptible to viruses. The body’s fight, flight, or freeze response, which protects us from danger and threats, can wreak havoc with our body and mind long-term.

Stress may cause you to become anxious, sad, depressed, angry, helpless, and unmotivated. Long-term stress can cause heart disease, high blood pressure, worsen chronic health diseases, disrupt your sleep habits, increase alcohol or drug use, and weaken your immune system. Here are 10 ways to reduce your stress level:
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1. Limit your exposure to the news. Take a break from watching, listening to, or reading the news. Put down your phone. You can quickly become addicted to what is going on, overwhelmed, and upset, which will only add to your stress. It is one thing to be informed; it’s another to be watching and listening to what is going on all day long. Limit your time on social media as well. Unplug. There is only so much that is in your control. Give your mind a rest.   
2. Make sure to get enough sleep. Sleep provides the brain and body with the opportunity to repair, restore, and rejuvenate. Seven to nine hours of sleep per night is recommended for optimal functioning. If you are having problems sleeping, try taking a hot bath before bedtime, listening to some relaxing music, and making sure the room is cool and dark.
3. Practice self-care. Our electronic devices need to be recharged frequently. However, we seldom take time to recharge our own batteries, which often results in burnout, a compromised immune system, and illness. Make it a point to slow down and take time for yourself. Go for a walk and get some fresh air. Exercise is good for you, both physically and mentally. Listen to music or watch a movie to take your mind off things for a while. Take a break and a step back from the reality of what is going on. Do something that you enjoy.  
4. Eat healthy, well-balanced meals. Don’t try to comfort yourself with junk food. A healthy, nutrient-rich diet can help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Healthy carbohydrates in moderation are an effective mood stabilizer, as they aid in serotonin production. Avoid excess amounts of caffeine and sugar.    
5. Reframe your thinking: Practice positivity, and see the glass as half-full, not half-empty. Focus on the good things in your life; be grateful for what you do have.     
6. Practice mindfulness. Stay in the present; don’t worry about the future and things that are beyond your control. Noticing the surrounding sights and sounds will help you stay present and in the moment. 
7. Take your emotional temperature throughout the day; monitor your feelings. If you feel yourself becoming stressed, try some grounding techniques, such as taking slow, deep breaths or paying specific attention to the sights and sounds around you.  
8. Stay connected via text, phone call, Facetime, or Skype. You are not alone. If you need emotional support, reach out to friends, family, or a mental health professional.   
9. Meditation quiets the mind and reduces stress. Meditation is an extension of deep breathing in which your attention becomes focused, and your mind becomes quiet. It can be done inside or outside, anywhere you can relax without interruption or distraction. The purpose of meditation is to stay in the moment, to stay in the present, which will bring your nervous system back into balance and produce a feeling of calmness.
10. Avoid self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. Alcohol is a depressant, and while a little might take the edge off, excessive amounts will only make you feel worse. Learn to develop more adaptive coping skills, as listed above.